Posted by Walls Need Love on 11/26/2011

Thanks to relocation to a new area, the saga of my custom wall-painting business continues! I am more careful to conceal the source of my new-found artistic talents, but business is great! Visiting Walls Need Love.com, I looked over all the great vinyl wall decals available and had a brainstorm. I would create a professional-sounding but fun-loving name for my business and combine wall quotes with a picture wall decal for a finished look. I couldn't wait to get started.

First I needed that catchy but dignified name. I made a list:

Wonderful Wacky Wall Art
Delicate Divine Wall Designs
Kicky and Kinky . . . . nah
Custom Created Wall Curiosities
Novel Nuances for Nurseries and Nooks

Wow! I could go on and on. Then another inspiration hit. I'd post a separate business name in the Craigslist for each surrounding community! Using Walls Need Love designs, I made mock-ups of sample work to show prospective customers. My business would grow exponentially with all that lovely vinyl wall art-- er, that is, custom design and painting. No one would ever guess that I actually use vinyl wall decals to create my masterpieces. Every wall decal is so easy to apply, it takes just minutes. I'd have to be careful to keep that fact a secret.

I set my business plan in motion and soon got my first call. Whistling "We're in the Money," I hurried to pick up the phone.

"Good afternoon," I intoned in my most professional-sounding voice. "May I help you?"

"Is this Wonderful Wacky Wall Art?" came a woman's harried-sounding voice.

"Yes, you've come to the right place for custom-designed wall art that will please the most discriminate taste or the wildest palate."

"Good, good. I need to get some decorating done for my daughter who is going to be 13 in a couple of weeks. How quickly can you get her room fixed up?"

"First I would need to see the room. I can bring out some pictures of previous work for you to view and make an estimate of both the cost and the time required for completing the project. Will you be able to meet with me...say...Thursday at 3:00?"

"That will be fine. We are located in Shepherdsville. Are you familiar with the area?"

"Certainly." I took down the address and her directions to the house, which happened to be located outside the town. I also promised to arrive promptly but to call should any emergency arise that would delay my visit.

Thursday came. I hopped into the car with portfolio in hand and headed out. Following the winding country road, I finally came to a dirt driveway that led into the woods. My progress was impeded by deep ruts and potholes, but I persevered. At last I came to a rambling structure hidden from the road.

It looked a little spooky, but I didn't hesitate. At least I didn't until I heard the deep-throated growl and spied a massive dog with teeth bared, ready to "greet" any and all comers. Quickly, I shut the car door I had just opened.

As I sat in my car wondering what to do next, a woman appeared on the porch. She looked unusual, to say the least. It was almost as if she had materialized out of thin air. She wore a long black dress that looked kind of dusty. I thought I could see cobwebs clinging to her shoulders.

The lady's hair was an amazement of tangles and colors that ranged from auburn to white. She carried a shotgun in one hand and a butcher knife in the other. Her smile revealed a few black teeth and one gold tooth that gleamed in the sunlight. At least I hadn't come there at night, I reflected.

"Aw, don't you never mind about Killer. He wouldn't hurt a flea, would ya, Boy? Come on in and set a spell. Darla'll be home from school directly."

I slid past the still-growling dog with still-bared teeth and into the house. What had I gotten myself into?