Posted by Walls Need Love on 1/3/2012

My new businesses were coming along nicely, although the customers were a little odd. OK, they were a LOT odd. First Darla wanted bats and skulls, plus a quote about the Undead. Darla's dog, Killer, and her mom, who carried around a butcher knife, made that job doubly interesting.

Next, I decorated a nursery for an "offspring module" in a flying saucer. The tall, shiny green mom with silver hair added a lot of interest to that job. Then I got an invitation in the mail. The honor of my presence was requested at the welcoming ceremony for Xrbl Farn Wilson, Jr. The address given was the flying saucer. Hmm . . . I think I might have "other" plans that day.

My phone rang that afternoon. It was Mrs. Wilson, wanting to know if I could attend her son's welcoming, and also if I would prepare the den for the big day. I agreed to meet with her the next afternoon while Xrbl was napping.

Mrs. Wilson met me at the door and led me to the room she wanted decorated. It was paintedyou guessed itblack. Mrs. Wilson said her male-module wanted a monogram above the mantle with the initials XFW. It should be white letters, framed with a simple rectangle. The opposite wall should be decorated to represent earth plants known as a "forest."

I presented my portfolio and explained it was not a snack but an album of pictures to show my work. Mrs. Wilson chose a grouping of tree wall decals named "Birch Forest" ($139.95). She also liked "Monogram 1" ($29.95) from the monogram wall decals. The trees and monogram would be white, and the birds would be blue.

"That will be $600 for the complete job," I said. "It includes my original painting of birches and small birds, plus my exclusive monogram painting. I will need privacy to complete the job. It should only take about eight hours to complete. I work fast."

We set a date a week later for the "painting" job. Just then a strange snorting noise came from the nursery. "Oh, that's my little one," said Mrs. Wilson, scurrying from the room. "Just wait 'til you see him. Such a beautiful child."

Apparently, parents on her planet bragged about their offspring. Soon Mrs. Wilson was back with a squirming creature wrapped in a blue receiving blanket. I gazed into the purple eyes and ruffled the silver fluff. "Yes," I commented. "I see what you mean."

Xrbl looked me up and down. "Who is this earth creature?" asked the baby. "He's odd looking." With that, he let out a loud burp and spewed green liquid onto my shirt.

"Xrbl, mind your manners!" exclaimed Mrs. Wilson.

She rushed out and returned with a damp cloth. "I'm so sorry," she said, flustered. "I think he must be having a bit of digestive trouble."

That's all right," I mumbled, scrubbing at the mess. I excused myself and rushed to the car. By the time I got home, my shirt had dissolved. At least my skin was still intact. I went online to Walls Need Love and ordered the monogram wall decals and tree wall decals. I just hope that the vinyl wall art will be unaffected by Xrbl's digestive issues.